001 | Voice

[abetteryoda]

Okay, who do I have to pay to get these wings removed? I mean they’re itchy and uncomfortable and totally useless. [He knows because one of the first things he did after freaking out about them was try to fly.] Who the hell gives a person wings that they can’t fly with? Doesn’t that diminish the purpose of having wings? If you wanted to keep us grounded, you should have attached shells to our backs; that way at least we have shelter from the rain and a nice and cozy self-sustaining home to live in. [And this rant goes on for another couple of minutes. It’s clear this kid is way more upset about his lack of functional wings than waking up in a damp, deserted forest with only a journal to clue him in. A journal that he’s already read cover to cover twice and thus understands the gist of this place.]

So yeah, just a future suggestion, but if you’re going to surgically attach new appendages to my body without my consent, is it too much to ask that they work properly? [Because Stiles doesn’t think it is.]

And as for everyone else listening in, hi, I’m Stiles Stilinski and this is my first alter-universe kidnapping. [Pause.] Although a very large part of me is still assuming this just a crack out dream I’ll wake up from any minute now. So, does anyone have a map that’ll get me out of this forest?

Comments

[Voice sort of]

[i_speak_softly]

[A kind of snorted laugh from someone who didn't mean to have his journal's broadcasting function turned on. Who are you and where did you get this misinformation about shells.]

[Voice]

[abetteryoda]

[And now someone is laughing at him through the magical journal. Great. And if you must know, he was thinking more along the lines of how snails take shelter in their shells.]

Yes, thank you for the productive commentary. I'm be here all week. [Unfortunately.]

[Voice]

[i_speak_softly]

[... Oops. Now that he's accidentally laughed at a New Feather, he'd better try to be polite.]

Sorry. Hi. New here?

((Oh yeah, death penalty.))

[Voice]

[abetteryoda]

Yeah. Would have thought that was obvious from the fact that I introduced myself and went on a rant about the wings and all that. [This situation has made him a bit grouchy and having someone laugh at him hadn't helped.]

So...can you help me get out of this forest? Does this magic journal come equipped with Map Quest or something?

[Voice/Written]

[i_speak_softly]

[It was, but Don is seriously conversation-impaired right now, and repeating the general topic in simple terms is about the best he can do.]

[The journal does in fact have a map, and Don will sketch something showing Stiles how to get to it. Does that help?]

voice

[positivelycharged]

Wouldn't a shell be heavy though? I like the wings better.

voice

[abetteryoda]

That depends more on how big the shell is and probably what it's made out of. And I'm not saying the wings don't have merit, but as they are now all they're good for is decoration.

voice

[positivelycharged]

Hmm...they're probably good for something else too though, right? I never thought about it before.

What are shells usually made of?

voice

[abetteryoda]

Yeah, from my experience so far, they're good for letting me levitate a few inches off the ground and for giving me minor back pain. But they also seem pretty flexible. Which will make them easier to hide I guess.

[voice]

[curiositykills]

[Jason's new, too, and to him, helping New Feathers sounds more like charity work, which he's so not into. As such, he decides to answer this as himself, costumeless, because this isn't a job for Robin.]

If we're gonna start making demands, I wanna pick a new color. Black's too cliché, green is where it's at.

[...but wow, that is not helpful at all.]

[voice]

[abetteryoda]

Dude, mine are red with gray tips. I don't know about the gray, but red is like, the second or third most cliche color ever. You'd think these mad scientist people would be a little more creative.

[Because plaid seriously beats all.]

[voice]

[curiositykills]

Maybe they were going for edgy. At least they tried. [And besides, the feathers probably look really cool...!] I don't know if anyone's heard back from the complaint department yet, though.

[voice]

[abetteryoda]

Yeah, and they failed miserably. [The feathers actually did look pretty cool, but he's not willing to admit that. It might encourage them to do more nefarious things to his body or something.] Well, they haven't had to deal with me yet.

voice;

[deceases]

You're saying that as if you're expecting to be kidnapped more later on.

voice;

[abetteryoda]

Expecting to be? No, not really. But would I be surprised? Definitely not. We're obviously here to be their little science projects. Or haven't you read the journal yet?

[deceases]

I more aimed at the whole 'alter-universe kidnapping' in general. People generally only get thrown in here once, aside from some. So unless there are more places like this, the chance to have that happen to you again after this is pretty small.

[abetteryoda]

Well you can never be too sure. If there's one place like this, we might as well assume there the possibility that there are others until we're proven wrong.

[voice]

[explaining]

Ah- you don't want those removed. I'm pretty sure you die if they're removed.

[voice]

[abetteryoda]

[Die...did he just say he'd die?]

What the hell? Exactly what do they have these wings connected to in there? [Obviously he's going to need to look into this more. But what the hell man.]

[voice]

[explaining]

I don't know the biological particulars, but you die of they're removed and you get really ill if you injure them. So.

[voice]

[abetteryoda]

So our lives rest in the state our wings are in? That is...really screwed up.

[Voice]

[geniustheveil]

[The next voice is somewhat serious, albeit willing to be helpful.]

The wings have certain effects that help us. For example, they're translating our speech for each other right now.

[Voice]

[abetteryoda]

Our wings are translating our conversations? What these guys couldn't invest in a Babel Fish or something? Although if I had to choose between having these wings or sticking a fish in my ear this might actually be the better option.

[The things you learn from reading 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'.]

[Voice]

[geniustheveil]

A Babel Fish? [Ami shakes her head with the blankness of unfamiliarity. The things you don't learn when you're not up on British pop culture. Or Christianity beyond the basics of its tenets and history.]

[Voice]

[abetteryoda]

Yeah, it's from this book I've read. It's this fish that you stick in your ear that scrambles to way you hear so you can understand any language someone is speaking to you.