Stiles Stilinski

CHARACTER NAME: Stiles Stilinski
CHARACTER SERIES: Teen Wolf

( No, you stopped to bake it in a little werewolf oven )

Okay, who do I have to pay to get these wings removed? I mean they’re itchy and uncomfortable and totally useless. [He knows because one of the first things he did after freaking out about them was try to fly.] Who the hell gives a person wings that they can’t fly with? Doesn’t that diminish the purpose of having wings? If you wanted to keep us grounded, you should have attached shells to our backs; that way at least we have shelter from the rain and a nice and cozy self-sustaining home to live in. [And this rant goes on for another couple of minutes. It’s clear this kid is way more upset about his lack of functional wings than waking up in a damp, deserted forest with only a journal to clue him in. A journal that he’s already read cover to cover twice and thus understands the gist of this place.]

So yeah, just a future suggestion, but if you’re going to surgically attach new appendages to my body without my consent, is it too much to ask that they work properly? [Because Stiles doesn’t think it is.]

And as for everyone else listening in, hi, I’m Stiles Stilinski and this is my first alter-universe kidnapping. [Pause.] Although a very large part of me is still assuming this just a crack out dream I’ll wake up from any minute now. So, does anyone have a map that’ll get me out of this forest?